Shuttle Me

So yesterday I rode the shuttle to Sandy. It was a party and a half, I can tell you that much right now. I get on, and the driver is none other than one of my friends named Sterling. (They are everywhere!!) But this particular friend named Sterling is more of an acquaintance named Sterling. We have never actually hung out or anything, which is fine, but it could make things awkward when he is your driver for five hours. I was really worried that he would want me to sit in the front with him... More than most things, I hate making small talk on a trip. I can do small talk, but I absolutely detest it on a trip with the stranger who is giving you a ride. This was a little different, but the concept and the feeling was the same. So that was no good. Luckily, I was able to sit in the back. Which was awesome until he still started talking. Now don't get me wrong. I love talking to Sterling, because he is so nice, and you know, we are pretty good acquaintances. It was just weird, because there was a row of seats in between us, and I could barely hear him because of the distance and the shuttle. (That thing is loud!) But I told him all about my major, and what I've been doing, and Disney auditions, and blah, blah, blah.

We stopped at a hotel in Rexburg to pick up some other passengers. There was this kind looking old man who had everything in little plastic bags. It was kind of funny though, because when Sterling asked what was in the bags, the old man just hugged them to himself, and tried to hide them. Sterling just backed away. We get back on the shuttle, and Sterling goes back to driving. But the old man keeps switching seats that are closer and closer to mine! And I was a little concerned, but that's just the paranoia in me coming out. Don't worry. It was a little weird until we got to Idaho Falls, but it was only going to get better because Idaho Falls brought a story of its own.

Two of the passengers had service dogs with them. They were really cute dogs. However, I don't know how trained they were as service animals, because you would occasionally hear this woman screaming at the top of her lungs, "Princess!! Get DOWN!!!" Apparently the dog had tried to steal her seat. It was really funny, because she just kept freaking out. I probably should not laugh at blind people, (just a thought,) but you do what you can. So the woman finally got her seat back from her service dog, and settled in. The other passengers began to find their seats, while steering clear of the dogs that were sprawled out on the floor in the back. And every time a person would enter the shuttle, the woman would rather loudly announce that it was all okay, because they were service dogs. Oh, good. Then, this poor woman admitted that she had horrible allergies to dogs, and would be sitting up front. "Don't worry, honey! We shampooed these dogs last night! And we used hypo-allergenic stuff! It's all okay, these are service dogs." She repeated this about 8 times.

She then began to announce to everyone how much the dogs love to travel. It was kind of weird. But apparently the pilots love the dogs, so it's all okay. She then went into this big whole story about how there was some Japanese woman who owned a convenience store who would not let them into the store. She was still a little bitter about it, and started talking about how Japanese people hate blind people, and how they just kill them because they can't tolerate them. At this point I almost lost it. The old man behind me, and right next to this woman is Asian. I don't know exactly where he was from, but we will all just say a little prayer that he is not from Japan. That could have gotten awkward. But I was trying so hard not to make too much noise. It was awesome. This is why I take the shuttle.

Meanwhile, the old man behind us, whose ethnicity is still in question kept pulling out these nasty moon pies. (You know, the Little Debbie's Cakes that are secretly fake food.) That's what was in the bag that Sterling tried to take!! His moon pies!!! I would randomly hear the crinkling of the plastic wrapper, which was always followed by the over-powering smell of fake chocolate. He had about six of them in the space of four hours!!! At first it was a nasty smell that did not agree with my gag reflexes, but as it got later and later, that nasty chocolate smell started to smell heavenly. He was a really nice old man though. So that was good. He just kind of scared me at first.

So, all in all, it was a very eventful trip to Utah. I really hate taking the shuttle, but at the same time, it is so entertaining that I don't really know if there is any other way to travel. Try it some time. And then look for my play on Broadway. Shuttle Me. Thank you, and goodnight.