Friday, May 29, 2009


You know what I really hate? Laundry. It's such a hassle. And they should make a name for the never ending torment that comes along with doing laundry. Because you know that every time you get back from putting that load into the washer, you are going to come home and the first thing you see is a dirty article of clothing that magically did not end up in your laundry basket. You begin to notice that this happens all the time, and with every load there is another exclamation of exasperation because you forgot that one shirt. So you plan ahead before you go; you ransack every inch of your room and your closet looking for any rouge dirty clothes that you may have missed because by golly! you will not be bamboozled by your wretched laundry again. So, feeling like this time you just may have come off conquerer of your laundry pile, you make your way to the laundry building. Suddenly that smug little grin is wiped off of your face as you remember your towel hanging in your bathroom. Yep- that probably could have been washed. But don't even worry about it; it's fine. Because you are not walking all the way back to your building to get that one stupid towel. So instead you just walk that one off, feeling a little more humble about your awesomeness. Then, as you put your articles of clothing into the washer, every thing comes flooding back to you. That one sock that was left in your purse. (Don't ask questions.) Those pajama bottoms that you shoved back into your drawer; or that undershirt that is conveniently located under your shirt. Yeah, doing laundry is so great. But you shake that one off, because at least you got everything within sight. FALSE! Because as soon as you walk through the door, you notice your shirt on the bathroom counter just sitting there mocking you. And you make all of these vows and promises, that next week you will get everything into that stupid washer! So help me; so help me; yet all the while knowing that this vicious cycle will just keep washing, rinsing, and repeating itself. I hate laundry. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Thursday, May 28, 2009


What does this mean? 

I bought a shirt today that says "Happiness is Recycling," and a giant peace sign necklace. Does this mean that I am turning into a Hippie? I don't even know. Translation please? Thank you, and goodnight. 

Monday, May 25, 2009


So today it hit me. The answer. The theme of my life, really. It goes a little something like this:

My life consists of moments of me trying to be awesome, yet failing miserably. 

Now upon reading that, you might think that that is a bad thing. Oh no, dear readers. I love it. It makes me who I am. It's what brings you all of those awkward moments and funny stories. That right there is the answer. That right there is my anthem. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Inner Nerd

Okay, so yesterday I realized how much of a dork I really am. I went to Star Wars Weekends at Hollywood Studios... and loved it... I know! I know!! I'm such a dork, but it was so fun! But cut me a break!! I was pretty much raised on Star Wars. It's fine. Now don't go thinking that I am psychotic or anything... I didn't dress up, or buy a light saber, or follow Luke Skywalker around. (Yes, he was there.) Nor did I buy a picture of my face in a Star Wars characters body.. ahem, Dimas. I did really want to buy a Yoda backpack (Yes, Shaun, THAT Yoda backpack...) but that desire only lasted about 7.3 minutes. Thank goodness. But- I did meet Chewbacca, and Darth Vader, and saw the guy that played Darth Maul. (And he was highly attractive, thank you very much. Oh, and he was an Aussie. I almost swooned. Yes, swooned.) And I saluted some Strom Troopers, and got the crap scared out of me by one rouge Tuscan Raider. All in all, it was a pretty awesome day. Oh, and just to add to all of the nerdism, I'm going back next weekend, and am highly excited about it. Don't even pretend. You want to come too. And don't worry, I'll post pictures as soon as I get them. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

From A Concerned Citizen

Dear Thunder, 

If you could just, you know, knock it off any time soon that would be so awesome, because guess what? I kind of slightly hate you. Because you kind of more than slightly terrify me. So as a concerned citizen I'm just dropping you this little note. Yeah, you could take it as a hate note, and well, let's face it- you would be correct in your assumptions. I more than slightly hate you. But it's fine. Nothing personal. You have hung out with me quite often for about a week now, and I think that this relationship is more than over... so beat it, pal. Just beat it. Once again, nothing personal. It's not you, it's me... I just can't do this anymore. So thanks for the memories, and peace out boy scout. 



Thank you, and goodnight. 


Okay, so I know that you all secretly thought that my new job at Animal Kingdom was just a humble little Park Greeter. The time my friends has come to come clean. I'm secretly a secret agent. Yeah. But don't tell anyone. It's just between you an me. (Which is why I chose the internet to tell you this. It's fine.) No really. I am an agent; and it's awesome. I get assignments and everything. How legit is that? Here's a little sample of what my day looked like today. 

After some brief training exercises, I report back to headquarters at approximately 1100 hours. (For real. We use military time at Disney and everything. I told you this was legit.) After supervising the exits for a while, I receive another assignment. It's called a break. Because hey, secret agents need to eat their PB and J too, alright? It's fine. After a quick break I logged back into headquarters for another assignment. Now this is classified, but I'm going to share it anyways. Just keep it on the DL. 

Assignment 13224303:

DOUG is currently in position 7. Please drop that position and both return to headquarters for your next assignment. 


We even get assigned to get assignments. Yeah. It's so sweet. This is just an example of one of the many acts of espionage I am now performing every day at Disney's Animal Kingdom. Whenever our position has been compromised we are assigned a new one, and just keep the rotation going. It's a pretty intense job. I'm pretty lucky to be alive still; most don't make it past training. It's fine. No big deal. 

So- if you ever need a secret agent woman, I'm your girl. I have awesome references. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Friday, May 22, 2009


Okay, so I ultimately decided that these next few months are going to equal an intense, and at times passionate love-hate relationship with my new job. However, right now I'm deciding that I love it. It so awesome!! Because I get to talk to happy people all day long. And when there's nobody around to help enter or exit the park, I get to participate in one of my favorite activities ever. I get to people watch. It's so awesome. And not gonna lie, I may or may not have started to play the Attractive Game again. That's a really fun game, and some of the guests are really good at it. Just saying is all. Don't judge me. 

But this doesn't make me creepy or weird. I just needed to get that out. I just really enjoy watching people, because let's face it- they are crazy. Plain and simple, people are out of their minds. And have you ever noticed how someone always looks like someone else. Like today I could have sworn that I saw my dad walking around Animal Kingdom. Alas, it was not. Or that time I thought I saw my friend Shanae outside Kilimanjaro Safari, but realized my mistake mid-wave and made it look like I was having a seizure instead. Or that time my trainer looked like the Puerto Rican version of my cousin. Yeah, why is that? 

Anyways, that was kind of a weird tangent. It's fine. I love this job though because so many random awesome things happen that I want to blog about. However, I never remember them once I finally get home. That's kind of a problem. But today I decided that I needed a separate portion of my brain just for blogging. Because sometimes I think in blog. No, for real. And, it would be awesome if I could just wire it to a computer and I could just brain blog. It would work out so much better, because then I would never forget stuff. Again, don't judge me. I'm highly exhausted. 

So the moral of this highly ADD post is that I heart my job. And I think that it's going to be awesome. Thank you, and goodnight. 


So... I would like you to meet some co-workers of mine. 

Meet Harry. 

Mallard Duck (Custom).JPG.jpg

And Stanley.


Cute huh? They are great guys, and they like to chill with me when I clean the park benches in the morning before the park opens. Love them. Thank you, and goodnight. 


Okay, so my dreams are becoming quite interesting. Last night was the second night I have dreamed about being called to Washington state on a mission. Weird, right? The first time I dreamed I got called to Selah, Washington. That was really interesting. And I'm pretty sure there was something about Eric Neilson and my mom's upcoming garage sale in there with that dream. Yeah, don't ask me. Perhaps Freud would have a thing or two to say about it, but he's dead, so whatever. 

Last night I dreamed that I got called to Vancouver, Washington. That too was highly strange. This was a little bit darker of a dream. Like it happened at night. Oh, and for some reason I was being highly disrespectful with the actual call, and kept folding it into a paper airplane, and flying it around my multiple balconies that I just happened to have in my huge library in my house. Yeah, don't worry, I don't know what it means either. 

So... maybe I'll go to Washington on the Mish. I would be okay with that. It's weird because I have never been to these places. I had to verify with a native that Selah was an actual place in Washington. So we'll see. Maybe my brain just really wants to go to Washington, and this is how it is trying to tell me. It's fine. For now I'll just keep dreaming about random cities in Washington, and pray that missionary work is thriving there. Thank you, and goodnight.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Right, so today was a weird moment in my life. I have had 6:30 AM shifts for the past two days at work, because they are training me on how to open the park. Sounds legit, huh? Answer=yes. However, since I have no car to speak of, I have to get on the 5:30 bus. That equals I have to wake up at 4:30 to, ahem, attempt to beautify myself for the day. (Key word there is attempt. It's fine.) Yeah, so pretty sure I have been exhausted for the past two days. And it's totally not even my fault. Kind of. I've tried to go to bed early, but my brain won't shut up and let me go to sleep. So therefore I've been operating on an average of 4.5 hours of sleep a night. Equals not enough, and the world just may come crashing down at any moment. So today I got of work at 3:01. At 3:42 my bus left the parking lot of Animal Kingdom. At 4:19 I arrived into Chatham. At 4:29 I crawled into my bed for a little nap, and at 8:49, I woke up. Um, yeah. That was a weird moment. Pretty sure I blew a bunch of people off... um, yeah. Sorry. I suck. It's fine. And I'm not gonna lie. It's 9:46 right now, and I'm pretty sure that I could go back to sleep for another 8 hours. Thank you 4:30 AM for ruining my life, and my sleep patterns. And my social life. It's fine. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Right, so I switched jobs... and that equals happiness. I was just a little bit sick of this: 

"Hi, welcome to the Coral Reef. Do you have a reservation? And your last name sir? Dale Stewart, party of 5? Is that still 2 adults, 2 children and 1 infant? Will you be needing a highchair? And are you on the dining plan? Alright, when this pager goes off, bring it back up here and we'll take you to your table. No, it will go off again- that's just a test. Yes, you bring in right back up here. It will be about 15-20 minutes. Yes, that is with a reservation. Thank you." 

Try saying that about 800 times a day. Yeah, I know, awesome huh? Such was my life. And yes, awesome was the word that I thought every day. But don't worry; that particular brand of awesome is over and tomorrow I start training for my new job. Where is this new job you may ask? Drum roll please.... Disney's Animal Kingdom! Hooray!! I was pretty excited about this one. Animal Kingdom closes at 5- so that equals not having to work nights. And that my friends is awesome. With a capital awe. However there is one little hitch that I surprisingly overlooked. So Sunday, I had my first official day there where a very enthusiastic facilitator welcomes you to the park and shows you all the sweet little ins and outs, and gives you the run down of the park. That was pretty cool, but it made me realized this one little hitch. I get off the bus at the crack of dawn, and take of little whiff of that fresh 7:30 AM Orlando air, and almost gag. It smelled like animals a little bit a lot. And that's when I realized that I was now going to be working with freakin' animals. Dude, I hate animals. Yes, I realize that I'm a sinner for that one. It's fine. Just don't judge me harshly. I just don't like them! Sue me. I don't know why that never really clicked... but alas. It did. And luckily, as of right now I'm not doing anything directly with animals... let's just hope they don't move me around anymore. 

Right now I'm working at the main entrance as a Park Greeter. And I don't know what that means entirely, but I'm pretty sure there is a lot of greeting, sweating, smiling, and possibly waving with a giant Mickey glove on my hand. So you know, it could be fun. Tomorrow I start my actual on the job training. Oh, at 6:30 in the freakin' morning. Yeah. That will be the I will start being more positive though. Starting now: I heart animals and I heart 6:30 in the freakin' morning. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Wretched Month of May

Right, so apparently the month of May is secretly writer's block month for Emmilie Buchanan. And it's kind of stressing me out/driving me nuts. I really just want to have that thing back where I can write something new everyday and make it sound somewhat interesting. So this is what I have reduced to: writing about how I have nothing to write about. This is highly distressing and depressing/driving me nuts/pray for me. It's fine. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Selfish Body

Why does your body need sleep? Do you have any idea how much more productive I would be at life if I never had to sleep, and therefore never got burdened with such things as exhaustion? I could be great at so many things- like tennis, and playing the cello, and math. But no- I need sleep, and that takes up at least 6-8 hours of my day. What the St. Francis. Why is my body so selfish? And then when I really only get about 5-6 hours, my body reaffirms its selfish attitude, and is sleepy all day long, therefore making me even less productive. Thank you, body. Thank you. So I would like to petition to no longer need sleep, and therefore humble my body. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Okay, so I'm kind of a sinner. One of my favorite places to sin is at the bus stop, and on the bus. Now, before you go on thinking I'm committing some heinous sin, let me set the record straight. It's a little thing called eavesdropping. And let's face it folks, I heart eavesdropping at the bus stop. It's the only place to do it, and these next examples are testimony enough as to why. So I'm sitting there on a bench waiting for the 10:30 C Bus to come and take me to work, and hoping that I really do arrive at 10:57 at the Cast Service Center like I'm supposed to. These bus drivers have been slightly flakey as of late. It's fine. And while I'm waiting, and weighing the options of weather or not I can really afford to get another half point, the girl sitting on the bench across from me starts cheering. She then proceeds to let the whole bus stop know, with a beeping thermometer in hand, that her temperature is in fact normal. I was glad that her body heat was normal, but I worried for her sanity. Just saying is all. She then began to explain to what seemed like a random stranger sitting about 3 feet away from her that her normal body temperature is 97.3 degrees, and when it reaches 100, it is cause for alarm, even though the general public is blessed to only worry about silly things such as fevers when they reach 101. But since hers is 97.3, 100 degrees is a thing to fret over. And, since she has such a low body temperature, she considers herself among her fellow lizards that run around the complex, and is convinced that she is a "col-blooded creature." (true story.) This is another typical example of the nonsensical conversations that I enjoy so much. It was hard not to start laughing out loud just a little bit. But then she went on explaining about all of her medical adventures as of late, and how they have put her on antibiotics. Now this is where our story really begins, dear readers. The seemingly uninterested stranger next to her was apparently her friend. (But I would have tried to sit as far away as I could too. Let's face it.) As this nonsensical girl (we'll call her Phyllis) was explaining about her latest dose of antibiotics, her friend, (We'll call her Stacy) told her how silly she was because let's face it- antibiotics don't really do anything for you any ways. (Um, what? I have several sore throats that would beg to differ.) Phyllis too picked up on this, and was even quicker to reject to this false pretense. But Stacy was quite adamant that antibiotics only worked on viruses. This really sent Phyllis into a fit. She was quite appalled, and quite rudely told Stacy how crazy she was, and how sadly she had been mislead. Phyllis then asked was was a question more directed for the people of Earth, rather than for poor mislead Stacy, but Stacy was who got it. "Is all of humanity this mislead?!" Phyllis exclaims. This is the part where a smile crosses my face, and Stacy looks up, realizes how silly this really is, and tells Phyllis that she does not care to get into this anymore. Phyllis will have none of this, and continues to press the issue as well as question Stacy's intelligence. At this moment, Stacy begins rummaging in her bag for the latest and greatest piece of technology that she can muster up, because lets face it, why would you sit in awkward silence when you could have Lady Gaga's Poker Face blasting in your ears and blocking out the hate. Sadly for Stacy, all her searching was in vane, and all she could muster up was a cell phone out of her pocket. Phyllis was still fuming and announced that they should just split up anyways, and she was going to hit the pool. Stacy thought that that sounded like a good idea. But after a while the 10:30 C Bus came around, and they both got on it- so maybe they will just work it out at Epcot. Dude, whatever. 

Then I watched a couple break up. Yeah. At first I was pretty excited about the copious amounts of drama before my very eyes, and when the couple got on the same bus as me, I was sure to get a seat within earshot of the couple. But then as I watched the girl start to cry, I started to have normal feeling of guilt for intruding on this highly personal moment in their lives. And yes, I felt bad. Kind of a lot. It's fine. But it continues to boggle my mind that all of this kind of crap happens while waiting for the bus. If you ever have a weird experience, 9 times out of 10, it happen while waiting for that wretched bus. So go to a bus stop, and just soak it up, my friend. Soak it up. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ode to Mom

You know what I re-realized yesterday? That Mom's just might be the greatest people ever. And here's why. Yesterday was Mother's Day, and oh how we love our Moms. I was able to listen to several conversations of my roommates when they called their Moms. And yes, I too called my wonderful Mother. And there was an underlying theme that pretty much sums up why our Moms are so awesome. On their special day, they still wanted to know about us, and what's new and exciting in our lives. On their special day, they told us how awesome we are. On their special day they made us feel loved. And I hope that we as people, and therefore sons and daughters, I hope we recognized this. I hope that we recognized how selfless and caring Mothers are. I hope we realize always how precious these women are. Personally, I hope that I can become to some small degree the woman of faith, obedience, trust and hope that my Mom is. Oh, and I want to be a rocking cook like her too. Just saying is all. It's fine. So Mom, this one's for you, because let's face it- you are pretty much awesome. Thank you, and goodnight. 

Friday, May 1, 2009


Okay party people, so here's the deal. The other night there was this little thing called the Spring Formal. Now, ordinarily I am highly against such frivolity. Now, don't go thinking that I am against all things frivolous in nature. Oh, no. On the contrary, I highly enjoy frivolity. However, I don't always enjoy high school frivolity, and this was suspiciously similar to prom. And... not really feeling the need to ever repeat that part of my life, I had basically sworn it off. But of course, I got talked into going... and well... I went to the Spring Formal. And you know what? It was awesome! And you know why? Because unlike most of the high school dances that I went to, I didn't have an awkward high school boy as my date. I went with some awesome girl friends of mine, and declared my independence/singularity (I guess you could say.) And it was awesome. I ate steak, which I haven't had since two forevers ago. I danced to Let It Rock; met some harpies; had my hand kissed/licked by a drunken man; and flirted with my eyes. It was a highly enjoyable night. Oh, and I got to wear my favorite dress, and feel like a princess. A solid evening if I do say so myself.  

Brittney and Kate! They were so beautiful!!

Okay, so these two Atmosphere Characters were pretty much the I loved them, and didn't stop laughing for about 8 minutes after I met them. 

My girls... and Chris.
Okay, so this wasn't supposed to be a picture of me, but it captures me dancing in the background, and I think it's hilarious, because it's a little photo that captures real life. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am this awkward of a dancer in real life too. You should be so lucky as to witness this with your own two eyes.  Thank you, and goodnight.