"Get married or else your life sucks."

Alright. I've finally snapped. Be prepared for a full-fledged rant. Thank you. You have been warned.

Today in my D&C class we talked about dating vs. hanging out. The Brethren have made it quite clear that dating is to be preferred over hanging out. Hanging out can be harmful for young single adults, as it deprives them of one-on-one time with the opposite sex. Thank you Elders Oaks and Ballard. Indeed, marriage is an essential part of our eternal progression, and is very important. Sister Beck said that due to the amount of hanging out, the Church needed to teach more on the doctrine of family, and it's importance. Clearly, this is an issue. I agree that if there is too much hanging out that can be potentially problematic in getting a date. Granted. Man up there, men. Ask the lady out.

Then we delved deeper into the conversation of dating at BYU-Idaho. My professor said this: The reason that the Church spends so much money on education is that they want to create a place where young adults can gather to meet people their age to marry. This apparently is the only reason for the creation of such institutions as BYU, BYU-Idaho, and BYU-Hawaii. Upon hearing this, I had to adamantly disagree. I would like to think that the $1649 I pay each semester for tuition, the $382 I spend on books, and the $1095 I spend on housing is not in fact for me to find a husband, but to gain an education. But our culture, which places so much emphasis on "gaining as much education as possible," ironically, is telling me that I will only have worth if I graduate from this University with a husband. Forget a diploma, as long as you have a husband you will be accepted.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines University as: "The whole body of teachers and scholars engaged, at a particular place, in giving and receiving instruction in the higher branches of learning; such persons associated together as a society or corporate body, with definite organization and acknowledged powers and privileges (esp. that of conferring degrees), and forming an institution for the promotion of education in the higher or more important branches of learning; also, the colleges, buildings, etc., belonging to such a body." Last time I checked, I attend Brigham Young UNIVERSITY Idaho.

How dare you tell me that I am here to get married! How dare you tell me that that is WHY I should be here! Excuse me for wanting an education! Excuse me for wanting to be an educated, contributing member of society! Excuse me for wanting to have a successful career and taking the necessary steps to get there! Pardon me.

Now I will be the first to admit that a University like this is the prime area for young people with similar standards to meet, date, fall in love, and get married. It happens every day. I think it is wonderful. But for someone to have the audacity to tell me that the only reason that a University such as this exists is for people to get married is wrong. And yet, every day, this way of thinking is positively reinforced. I have had teachers tell me that their class secretly is not Acting 121, but rather Dating 101. I have gotten extra credit for going on dates. I have sat in classrooms where the professor has told us that we had to get up and talk to someone in the class whom we have been physically attracted to. (Yes, he was joking, but seriously though.) I have been in classes where we were admonished to take a test early, but not if it got in the way of our Friday Night Date. Things have gotten out of hand.

Has anyone stopped to think about how this maniacal push to get married is becoming more detrimental to us than helpful? Currently, the divorce rate in the United States is 50%. I have heard many a rumor that in the LDS culture this rate is higher. Why is that? Because there are institutions masquerading as Universities that force feed unsuspecting young adults the lie that they must be married to be happy. In a sense, it is almost brainwashing. I was away from BYU-Idaho for almost 10 months. I lived outside of the "Mormon Bubble," as it's called, and experienced the "real world." In those 10 months, I discovered something that I had never known while living in Rexburg. I realized that I was a single daughter of God who had just as much worth as a married daughter of God. Just because I am unmarried does not mean that I fail as an individual. On the contrary, I do great things every day. Great things like strengthening my testimony, building God's kingdom, and realizing who I am. Meanwhile, in that tiny town of Rexburg young couples are committing matrimony far too quickly. They hardly know what they are doing, and know even less about the person they are committing to. Indeed, couples are marrying far too quickly, which in turn lends to the rising divorce rates. It's becoming a vicious cycle. Yet who can blame these poor couples when everywhere they turn, they are having the concepts of dating and marriage shoved down their throats?

In August of 2004, David A. Bednar stated that Brigham Young University-Idaho is a Disciple Preparation Center. In that talk, Elder Bednar talks about how at Universities such as this, we are taught to come unto Christ, gain a better testimony and understanding of him, and learn of him. We learn to become better disciples, and receive the tools and the spiritual preparation in order to help build God's kingdom. While this certainly does include the concept of marriage, that particular concept is not all encompassing. I am convinced that Elder Bednar also meant that gaining an education in a particular field or craft will be beneficial to our overall salvation and discipleship. Surely it does not strictly include marriage.

What about the girl, we'll call her Peg, who graduates with high grades in Elementary Education? She had a terrific time during her four years at BYU-Idaho. She made many friends, went on several dates, and gained many new experiences. She is now student teaching at an Elementary school in Magna, Utah where she will go on to accept an offer to teach there permanently. Now Peg has one flaw. She is unmarried. Do you mean to tell me that after completing her education, graduating with a bachelors, serving faithfully on the Activites Committe in her ward, and participating in a realm of campus activites, Peg failed in her time as a student, simply becuase she did not marry? That is what we are being taught.

Today as I sat during that D&C class, feeling my anger and frustration boil with increasing intensity, my eyes glanced down at the paper of the boy in front of me. This was written on his paper: "Get married or else your life sucks." That is what we are being taught here at BYU-Idaho. Get married or not only will our lives suck, but we will be seen as failures. Quite a daunting lesson.

Thank you, and goodnight.