Alergic to Earth

Alright, so waking up this morning was fun. You know that feeling you get when you know you are going to sneeze? Well that was like a party in my sinus. Well, I wasn't going to sneeze, but it sure felt like it. Just relish it. You have the crusty eyes that concern you, because what exactly is all of that crust, and where did it come from?! And why is it caking your eyes shut?! (It's fine.) There is also that perpetual itch in the back of your throat. Just that one spot too that drives you crazy, and no matter what you try to do, there is no remedy; you are stuck with an itchy spot in your mouth driving you slowly to insanity. Yeah. That's how I woke up this morning. And my first thought was, "Oh, crap." Why oh, crap you may ask? Because it means we are starting allergy season my friends. Woot. I was doing really well so far too. I hadn't had to pop any zyrtec and feel like an allergy commercial. Life was great. But upon some careful thought, I realized that it always happens around this time of year. And that got me thinking. 

Around this time of year, no matter where I am living, I always blame it on the state. Right now I'm allergic to Florida. This time last year I was highly allergic to Arizona and Idaho. Growing up as a kid I was highly allergic to a smattering of other places. Apparently Arizona, Idaho, Utah, Minnesota, Georgia, and also Florida have the same crap that makes my sinuses freak out and have a dance party on my face. Thank you, sinuses. But then, I figured that if I went to Prague in spring, I would probably be allergic to Prague too. Or Bangladesh for that matter. I'm sure that even if I went to the remotest village in Turkmenistan, I too would have allergies and be looking for some zyrtec from the local medicine man. So I'm just allergic to Earth. Thank you, and goodnight. 

DISCLAIMER: If this made no sense, I'm sorry. (Is it too late to apologize?) I'm all hopped up on allergy drugs, and am borderline delirious. It's fine.