Just For the Record

Okay, so I just need to get this out on the table. I am not a FLOOZIE!!!!! I know that there are some of you who would beg to differ, and have many times thought of me as such, and all I have to say is this: Don't look at me in that tone of voice. You heard me. Does it really benefit you to know every aspect of my dating life? (Or the lack thereof...depending on the day and the number of Moroccans in the room...that was not a racial slur thank you very much Jordan Bowman.) I mean, really. How is Emmilie's life so thrilling? Please, let me know. And in the mean time, shut it. 

So, for the record:

• I am NOT dating Shaun Mayo. 
• There is nothing going on between me and that nice Italian boy.
• I am not dating anyone in the ward.
• No, I really am not dating Shaun.
• I promise there is NOTHING going on.
• I am a very outgoing person...this does not mean that I am a pathological flirt! 
• I am probably NOT trying to get with him. (Whoever you may think fit the profile of "him." 
• I just a friendly person!!! Okay? Freak!!!
• Deep down, I really think that boys have cuties, and I am probably just scared of them! I'm not trying to get with every guy I meet! It's fine!
• I am perfectly happy, accepting and content with my current single status. 
• And I really am not dating Shaun. 

Oh, and P-freakin'-S what exactly is your definition of "going on"? That's what I want to know! And no. I am not a floozie. Thank you, and goodnight.