Look-a-Like

Right, so facebook is doing this thing where everyone is putting a picture of a celebrity they have been told they look like as their profile picture. This makes me laugh. First, I think it's kind of silly. It's a little narcissistic, but welcome to facebook. Second, I don't really look like any celebrity. It's fine. I have been told a couple of times that I look like Carrie Fisher. False. But whatever. Another reason this makes me laugh is because it reminds me of a time when I was in high school. It's a little flashback that goes a little something like this:

Once upon a time I was having a particularly annoying day, and all I wanted to do was to go to the movies by myself, and not talk to anyone ever again. I wanted to sit and fume. Alone. Luckily, Invincible was playing at the dollar theater, and Mark Wahlberg is attractive. Double prizes. So I went to the 6:50 showing, and sat down hoping that it wasn't too full of a showing. I was about a half hour early so I just sat and watched the same five ads replay. Fine by me. I didn't have to speak to anyone. Then, blessedly, it was 6:50 and the previews started. I enjoyed the first couple of them all alone, when suddenly a man came and sat down next to me, acting like we were the best of friends. Hold the phone, I thought to myself. We are not buds. I don't know him. At first I thought it was a mistake and that he thought I was someone else. Then I started listening to what he was saying. With a grand attempt and being suave and debonair, he greeted me again when he saw that I was finally paying attention. He started asking me all of these questions, like "Have you seen this before?" "Where are you from?" "Do you like football?" To all of this I responded with a befuddled, "wait, what?" and an occasional "Excuse me?" Then he threw out this classy line: "You know, you look exactly like Jennifer Aniston's twin sister." That's when it dawned on me. He was trying to make me his insta-date. False. That was a wrong choice, sir. First of all, it was a dark theater. You don't know what I look like. Second, I do not look like Jennifer Aniston, thank you very much. She has much better hair than I do. I was instantly furious that this fool was hitting on me when I wanted nothing more than to watch my movie in silence. He then made an even worse move and put his arm around me. Shut the front door. That is so not okay. I gave him a look that hopefully got the point of, "Excuse me? Chester the Molester? Please refrain." I think he may have misinterpreted though, because he looked at me, and said, "Hang tight, I'll go get us some popcorn." After his swift exit I sat there for about 5.7 seconds in a "What was that?" sort of daze. Then suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to get the heck out of there. So I left. After three minutes of a movie that I had completely missed because some square was trying to make me swoon. Swoon, I did not. Then I drove back home half incredulous as to what had just happened, and half furious over missing Mr. Wahlberg's really ripped abs. Then my better jovial nature took over, and I laughed out loud. That had happened.

So, in connection with facebook's look celebrity look-a-like week, I am highly tempted to post a picture of Jennifer Aniston. However, most of the world doesn't know that story. So I blogged it out instead. Thank you, and goodnight.