So, I'm Pretty Sure I Love Fictional Men

As you probably have gathered by now, I am not a huge fan of any kind of weather that is not sunny and warm. Indeed. However, there are some perks that can be found from such miserable and disgusting weather. I am a sucker for getting warm, drinking a cup of hot chocolate, and reading a good book. This little love of mine brings me to another confession. I know, I know, I'm full of those lately. I just have to get it all off my chest. I love fictional men. Sometimes more than real-live men. I belong to the group on Facebook called, "So I'm pretty sure I love fictional men." It's kind of a problem. Is that bad? You may laugh; you may mock; you may roll your eyes in my general direction, but just hear me out.

1. Pride and Prejudice. Hello? This is by far my favorite book of all time. Mr. Darcy?! Answer=YES!! I love him!! I love how much he cares for Elizabeth, and how he just longs to be with her! He is the greatest ever, and is perhaps my first love. I also will forever have a soft spot in my heart for Charles Bingly. Oh, yes.
2. Emma. This is a tough one. I can't decide who I love more. Mr. Knightly or Darcy. Why the moral dilemma? Well...Mr. Knightly is just plain good! He is a charming person that you can't help but love. But I loved Darcy first, and I must be true to my heart.
3. Sense and Sensibility. Yes, I love Colonel Brandon. He is so persistent. And delightful. And tender. And caring. And wonderful. Oh, how I love him.
4. Wuthering Heights. Okay, so I will be the first to admit that in real life, Heathcliff is not exactly the type of man I would bring home to meet my parents. It's fine. But I can still have a super secret spy crush on him. It's fine. The thing I love most about Heathcliff is how much he loved Catherine. He is terribly proud, but the passion, and the love that he has is incredible. It is an incredible part to read when she dies...oh, my heart almost wept. The language is beautiful. Read it!
5. Twilight. Team Edward. All the way. Really, what more can I say about a beautiful, charming, and gentleman-like vampire. I mean really, what more could you want??
6. Hamlet. I will forever and ever have a crush on Hamlet. He is terribly brilliant, and I love him.
7. Cyrano de Bergerac. Okay, so the nose is a bit big, but he is wonderful! I love him too.
8. And for some inexplicable reason, Edmond Dantes from the Count of Monte Cristo.

There you have it. The inner-workings of my soul. I hope you enjoy it. And next time it snows, or rains, or slushes, grab a book and fall in love again. Thank you, and goodnight.

Trove of Treasures/Crap

So today I started the always daunting task of unpacking. But this was an interesting experience. I packed these boxes over a year and a half ago. So it was a party and a half. I cranked up the tunes, and had a dance party...for one...sad. And I danced it out and unpacked. And Holy St. Francis. Let me tell you. I have so much crap. Had so much crap. Now I just have some crap and three huge garbage bags full of junk. Good thing my family moved that crap around with them. See what happened was this: I had to pack up all of my crap for college before I moved out. Pretty much everyone does. However, my family was at that point in the process of moving to Arizona, so all the rest of my crap had to be boxed up and they got to take it to Arizona with them. Aren't they so lucky!! So today I finally unpacked it all. And what a blast from the past it was. Holy crap.

I found my Thespian sweater, and do in fact refuse to take it off. It is pretty much the coolest thing...ever. I found my old high school dance pictures. They were really funny to look at, and remember how important all of it seemed at the time. Mostly it was a lot of awkwardness. But I still liked it. I found all of my theatre stuff, and random notes from friends. I forgot how big of a part Nate was in my high school experience. I missed him a lot today, and planned to write to him, but we'll see how that one goes... I found all of my books!!! That was a happy day!! I kept unpacking Disney stuff, and it just reaffirmed the fact that I was made to work in the happiest place on earth!! I found an old journal too. That was great. I read a little bit of it, and just laughed out loud. I wish I could go back to those problems! My life was great in High School!! Oh, nostalgia.

So it kind of hit me, that the next time I move all of this crap will probably be when I move into my own place, or get married or something. That was kind of weird. My husband is going to think I'm slightly nuts with all of the theatre crap that I have. Oh well... I think it's kind of funny.

But most importantly, I have learned that I was far more of a pack-rat in High School than I am now. Thank goodness. Now I just throw the junk away. Exhibit A: the three overflowing Extra-Duty garbage bags outside my door. Thank you, and goodnight.

Ode to Doom

Alright, so I have been meaning to write this for a while. It's my therapy. On October 12th, 2007, I wrote a little blog about the Testing Center of BYU-Idaho. It was aptly named The Testing Center...of Doom. That was in my young an impressionable days, when I only tested there. Now, the tides of fate have changed, and I find myself working there. What has become of the world? Oh, yeah, it's controlled by money. How foolish of me to forget. I would now like to expand upon that little thought... the doom one that is, and how the Testing Center is full of it.

So I was poor, and when that happens, people do desperate things. I applied at the Testing Center. It was terrifying. I seriously thought that the lady interviewing me was going to kill me. She told me how rough this job was. I figured that lots of other people work there, so I could do it to. No big deal. Then she pointed out how immodest I was in my modest clothing. She told me how tight my loose-fitting shirt was, and that my back fat poked out. Thank you, oh so much for that one. Way to welcome your new employees. Then I took a filing test, you know to see if I could work under pressure. Nothing like filing to cause stress and anxiety... Anyways I passed, and was offered an invitation to train. Not work mind you, train. After a week and a half of intense training, coupled with many emotional break-downs, I got the job.

I began to notice that my managers really were Nazis. And it frightened me. For Halloween this year all of the employees wanted to wear swastikas. And some did. They did the strangest things, and were way hard core about everything. One of the most frustrating things was their views on modesty. Now, for those of you who know me, and pretty much anyone who doesn't, you can tell that I am a modest dressing person. I don't even own immodest clothing. I am pretty good about not looking like a skank, thank you very much. However, without fail, once a week I would get busted for being immodest. That was great. The best one was when they told me I was immodest after just coming from the temple. That was a fun day. But yes, every week there was some reason that I would get in trouble. It started to become the joke among all of my fellow employees. I would wear a jacket, because guess what, it is freakin' cold in there, and Dallin would like to point out that, "Oh, guys, watch it, Emmilie had to cover up again. Pray for her." I was cold!!!!!! That was fun. Also fun was the day that they told me my floor length skirt was too immodest. That was great. Oh, and the day that they said that my black camisole was showing under my white shirt, and was therefore immodest. A lot of times I would get in trouble, and would not be able to see why. Those were days of pure awesomeness.

Luckily, I got to work with some cool peeps. Eric was my favorite to work with, because we would pretty much joke around the whole time. We even had a secret handshake. That was the coolest. Ever. Word. Proctoring was death, and it was always dangerous because I almost fell on someone every time! It was a big problem. It was so bloody boring, one is almost certain to die of boredom. However, I would play games. One of my favorite games was the Attractive Game. I would rate all the guys that came in on a scale of 1 to 10 based on how attractive they were. They would get points for their shoes, if I liked their hair, where they bought their clothes, if their clothes actually looked good, if they smelled good, what kind of test they were taking, and if they looked like they had a good sense of humor. You were disqualified if you had a wedding ring on. Those men are no use to me. And let me tell you, there were some real winners...holy crap. Amen. So pretty much what I am saying is that the Testing Center makes you resort to practically staking people. Oh the joys.

So now that I work there, I get to see the doom from the flip side. Oh, and I get to be a source of doom for people. Great, that was exactly what I was hoping to do. I just try to be really nice when I am handing people their fate in test form. But you better watch it... my managers have started this new thing called, "Let's Bust People For Being Too Happy." For real. And considering my modesty track record, I don't think I can afford to get busted for happiness. Thank you, and goodnight.

Weather or Not

Emmilie is in beautiful Arizona. The Arizona that has the reputation for always being sunny and happy. Bright and beautiful. Hot and dry. The temperature for tomorrow is going to be a warm 61 degrees, with light rain. Thursday is going to be a little cooler at 54 degrees, with AM showers. Friday, it's going to warm up as the sun comes out; it will be a lovely 61 degrees again with no chance of precipitation. Doesn't that sound perfect for mid-December weather? Oh, it is, but guess what?! That's for freakin' Phoenix!!! Guess where I am?? Freakin' Prescott!!! Where it snowed all day long!!! Awesome...so awesome. Let's take a little look-see at the forecast for Prescott, shall we? Tomorrow there is a 100% chance of snow, with a high of a whopping 35 degrees. Thursday will have a high of 34 with some snow showers in the morning. Then on Friday, things are going to be warming up to 40, so grab the Bermuda shorts folks, it's a heat wave.


Okay, so really after being in freezing Rexburg I should really have no room to complain. But let me admit you entrance into my mind for one little moment in time. The only thing that got me through that week and a half in Rexburg that was insanely cold (Yes, it was only a week. Eat it.) Was the knowledge that I was only a matter of days away from going to hot and dry Arizona. However, Arizona apparently missed the memo about the hot and dry part. What the St. Francis?! So instead of the warm, blissful Arizona I had been planning and hoping for, I am back to freezing. At least there is not that wretched Rexburg wind that likes to blow from all directions at the same time! I mean, as fun as that is...


However, it is really interesting watching native Arizonians reactions to this weather, especially after having just come from Iceburg, oh, I mean Rexburg. This morning, I drove Cooper to seminary...early. And the weather was rather craptastic. I won't lie. But nothing that couldn't be handled with caution. I mean freak, I drove in it. It couldn't have been that bad. But people were freaking out! They were driving so slow! It was kind of funny, actually. The schools had a minor panic attack too. They delayed the start of school two hours because of the snow. It wasn't even a raging blizzard. It was just some yucky snow. I guess I am slightly cynical because I grew up in Utah, and some in Minnesota, where they never cancel school for such a silly thing as snow. Then I decide to go to school in Idaho where the roads close, but the school doesn't. (Wrap your head around that one...) I just though it was a fun little culture thing... Bless the Arizonians. Aren't they cute. And for now, I guess I will just continue to freeze my nose hairs off with the rest of them.


Oh, and just so you know, the high for Orlando tomorrow is going to be 83. Thank you, and goodnight.

Fa la la la la la la la la

Can I just say that Christmas music fills my heart with joy? Can I just say it? Because it does! Especially when our dear friends Harry, Frank and Michael sing it. They are all I want for Christmas. Okay, so that could come off as slightly awkward... but alas. It just fills my heart with a particular happiness and... whatnot. And if you are ever in need of them, go to Pandora.com, my other love, and make a station called Swingy Christmas. Then sit back and be happy.

I think that Christmas music is highly important in places like Arizona. The state has this thing called, no snow for Christmas. Which most of the time, the whole no snow things is awesome, but for Christmas, you need snow! So just curl up, listen to Michael Buble sing about letting it snow, and just smile with me. Thank you, and goodnight.

Shuttle of Death

Confessions of Emmilie Buchanan take 122,853,938,271,639,307,182…ish:

So nothing in this known world scares me more than bad weather. Tornadoes? Check. Earthquakes? Check. Floods? Check. Fires? Check. Thunderstorms? CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!!! I hate bad weather!!! Just had to get that off my chest… It just really stresses me out, and may or may not make me think that the world is coming to an end right at that very moment, and my life is just minutes away from ending. It’s not a good scene. No bueno. And guess what? Blizzards fall into the category of bad weather. And guess what else? I live in Rexburg. Oh, and also guess what… It’s WINTER TIME!!!! That equals lots of blizzards in the Burg of Rex. That’s fine. The farmers need the moisture and all the rest of that crap, but I would really appreciate it if it could happen after I vacate the premises… Well… in true Emmilie fashion, no such luck.

On Saturday night, around…late… it started to snow. And there was much rejoicing had by all who are not me. However, that little bit of snow progressed into an intense storm. That was fun. But my heart was at ease. Classes were done, and all of my crap was inside the storage unit where it belonged. Thank goodness. But, the snow did this thing called “keep snowing.” It snowed all night long, naturally resolving in a few inches that greeted me in the morning. Oh, and it had also turned into a raging blizzard by 8:00 when I got up to finish my white glove. Oh, and the power was out. That was a nice little panic attack- especially because I had a date at noon that I had to look smokin’ hot for… so power was slightly necessary. I suppose it was also necessary because I had to vaccum my floor in order to pass clean checks… But you know, priorities. It’s fine. So after a slight moment of no breathing and panic, I stopped looking out at the swirling white abyss outside of my window, and called my mom. That’s my rule. When things are going to crap, you call mom. Without fail. So I told her the concerns of my heart. These concerns included getting stuck in a snowstorm on the way to the airport and dying. You know me, always putting people at ease. She went over the necessary precautions that I should take, but I was still freaking out. I was so worried that I would not make it to the airport on time. I did in fact switch my shuttle from 6:30 to 5:00…AM!!! My flight doesn’t leave until 2:45…so that was slightly early…but whatev. I really needed to not have to worry about missing the plane. That would have been blog worthy indeed. So upon realizing that I had to be at the Hart Building at 4:45 in the morning, my heart began to panic again. I had not really slept the night before, so I was dead tired, and panic gripped my worry prone heart. I was so afraid that I was going to sleep through my alarm, and then miss the dreaded shuttle. It was what you would call an internal conflict. More or less… So my amazing roommate Marie, who agreed to drive me at the ungodly hour decided with me to pull and all nnighter!!! In retrospect… that was kind of dumb. Because as of right now at 12:49 PM, I have not slept in over 28 hours. Cool huh? But that’s besides the point. Just some fun trivia for you, dear readers.

4:45 came after 5 movies, and the personal vow to never watch Dumb and Dumber ever again in my life; so help me, so help me. Marie and I carried my 100 pounds of crap to her truck. For those of you who have never been in Rexburg in December at 4:45 in the morning… I don’t reccommed it. It’s a little nippy. Okay, so more like a lot; and it’s especially fun when you get to scrape snow out of the bed of a truck. That’s always pure awesomeness. But hey, it was 8 million times better than walking to the opposite side of campus. So I count my blessings. As should you. Just as our bodies started to feel the heat of her truck, the shuttle came. “Oh good,” I thought. “It will be nice and warm in there!” Yet in true Emmilie fasion, no such luck...

I got on the shuttle, and noticed the intense…chill. It was freezing. The kind of cold where you can’t move, and can barely even breathe. OH MY WHAT FUN!!! There was no heat on that shuttle for three hours. It was so cold I was seriously almost in tears. I couldn’t do anything. It was too cold to even sleep. Note to self: Don’t ever repeat that. It was so cold that there was ice on the INSIDES of the windows. I thought I was going to die. Luckily, after a few prayers, I was able to sleep a little bit, and woke up to a little more heat. That was the biggest blessing ever! Needless to say, when the passengers got off the shuttle, we were all still a little frozen. It took about an hour to warm back up from that fateful little ride. Oh dear. How I hate Rexburg weather with all my heart, soul, and spleen.

So I got to the airport 4 ½ hours early… so I’m just hanging out. But it’s cool, because I find the airport to be a fascinating place. All is well…except for the sudden burst of air conditioning. That’s always fun. Orlando, Orlando, Orlando, Orlando, Orlando…. Thank you, and goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: Um…sorry if this blog is kind of…shall we say, spastic? Remember the whole sleep thing, and how I have been operating without it for 29 hours now? Don’t judge harshly. Amen.

One Day When I'm Older

Today I realized that I can make all the decisions about what I want to be when I grow up from the people in the airport. They offer a ton of perspective and clarity. And considering that I am now in fact sitting in the Salt Lake Airport sipping Hot Chocolate from Starbucks, and nibbling a blueberry muffin full of delicious calories, I can decide what it is exactly that I want to do with my life.

A big-time businesswoman
An eccentric Starbucks cashier
NOT a man with a mustache
A newly-wed
A college student going home for Christmas…wait…
A grandma with a red Santa sweatshirt
A frazzled mom with almost 18 kids
A skier- a hard core skier
Careless like a five-and-a-half-year-old
A fashionable chick
A cowboy?
A mac user
A home brother
An author
The woman that pushes people in a wheelchair and gets sweet smiles from old people
NOT a janitor
A retired couple taking a much needed vacation
Cool enough to wear a Bluetooth
Brave enough to wear pinstripes or leopard print
Awesome enough to carry a walkie talkie and use and ear piece.
Young enough to color still
Smart enough to read a 2000 page novel
Green enough to recycle
Gangsta enough to get up in yo’ grill
Virtuous enough to be recognized as a Member

Indeed, I have been inspired today. And I’m pretty sure that I could achieve most of this. Some of this I may or may not avoid dearly, but alas. It is all attainable. This little exercise is good and healthy for people who don’t know what to do with their lives. Just take a stroll around the terminal, and see how you too can become the mom with 18 kids, or the man with the Bluetooth. Or hey, even the hard core skier from New Jersey. Anything’s possible.