Existential Emmilie

I am a Psych minor. And as a psych minor, one must take psychology classes. Obviously. This semester, I am taking PSYCH 341- Theories of Personality. It is my favorite class, and as such is absolutely amazing. We learn about 18 different theorists, and their contributions to the field of psychology. I find this kind of crap absolutely fascinating. I know, total nerd. It's fine. For the past two classes, we have been talking about Abraham Maslow. Now, Maslow was an Existentialist. He was pretty cool, not gonna lie. And I must also admit that I love his theory. His hierarchy of needs makes a lot of sense to me. That's all.

So Monday was our discussion on Existentialism. Then the class actually read the chapter. So today I get into class, and am trying to study just a bit more for the test. Then, randomly this guy moves all of his stuff into the middle of the room. (We sit in a circle so we can discuss... very important.) He makes it this big show, plops down on his chair, and tries to hide the little smirk that screams, "Yeah, I'm basically the most awesome existentialist ever." I just stared at the kid in amazement. He then proceeds to look around at the class to see if he has made his point yet. He doesn't think so, so he throws his book into his bag, and pulls out a piece of blank white paper. He then asks a girl if she has crayons. For real life. She gives him what one can only call a look of incredulity. I don't blame her. I would have done the same if another fellow college student asked me if I happened to have crayons with me. She responds that she does not; naturally. The guys looks surprised and upset, but nothing can squander his newly found existential attitude. He then begins to draw little flowers on his paper. He continues this for the remainder of the class. I was laughing so hard. It was one of the funniest things ever. Not because he was a particularly funny person, but because of how serious he was in his "self-actualizing."

Our professor comes in after a few minutes of flower drawing, and stops dead in the doorway with an all too knowing grin on his face. He mutters something about "non-conformists, and no doubt self-actualization, and then sits down at a desk. It was interesting to watch the interaction between the two of them. The entire time, the guy was looking way to pleased with himself. It was great.

We then began our discussion, and I kept watching the kid. He is a very opinionated person, and every discussion he always has plenty to say. A truly self-actualized person would not conform and would not participate in the conversation. He would just continue to draw his little flowers. But the temptation was to much- he offered his little two-sense in now and again. Secretly, I wanted nothing more than to call him out on it. But it just seemed existential to keep quiet and just let it all happen.

So the time came for us to take our test. Every test turns into a group test, because we use our psychoanalysis skills to explain why it would be better for us either consciously or unconsiously(depending on the theorist) for our overall mental health. It always works, and it's awesome. Amen. So today was interesting. In the spirit of true existentialism, the entire class wrote 20/20 on the top of the paper and turned them in. No questions were answered, and the tests didn't even make it around the whole room before half the class had left. It was pretty much amazing. In the back of my mind, (in my Super Ego) I am worried that I will probably end up with a 0/20 on my final grade. But hey! We, the hippies of BYU-I made our point, and maintained a certain level of existentialism. Thank you, and goodnight.

Oh, P.S.

Oh, and P.S...

Sorry that the pictures for the special olympics, are well...slightly special. The lighting in the Hinckley is my favorite. Indeed. Thank you, and goodnight.

Special Olympics

I love special needs children!! They are such examples to me of faithfulness and love. This past week I had the opportunity to do service at the Opening Ceremonies for the Special Olympics for Idaho! BYU-I was hosting them, and my roommates were in charge. They needed a singer...and I happen to be just that on occasions. So I said yes to singing the national anthem. It was a lot of fun. Slightly scary, because as I was singing, I kept thinking of other really random things, and did not concentrate on the words. I had no idea what I was actually singing, and just kept praying that I was saying the right words!! That would have been slightly awful- if I had butchered our Nation's anthem at the Olympics. Awesome, Em. But alas, it all went well, and I remembered all of the words to our National Anthem. Thank Goodness!!

Daniel and his partner did a beautiful dance to a pretty sweet Josh Groban song. Note to self: Marry a man that sounds like Josh Groban. Amen.

My good friend, Sterling did an awesome magic trick for the ceremony. It was so cool. I was laughing the whole time. The end.

So Mary called our FHE brother Tyler, and asked him to do a little musical number thing. He said yes, and somehow, it ended up in me singing a duet with him. It was a good song with only one minor flaw. It was a country song. You know you're in Rexburg when... And for those of you who know me, um, yeah... I don't in fact sing country... So that was fun. But it was all okay. It was just slightly awkward. We had never really practiced it for real- so that was fun. Oh, and I forgot the words. Awesome. But never fear, I said the wrong ones at the wrong time, but thanks to my sweet skills, (and a lot of help from the Lord,) I was able to think of something that rhymed. I'm convinced that it was the whole, "In the very moment the spirit will give you the things you should say," because I have no idea what I said. But they all bought it. That's good. But Tyler is awesome, and it went very well!! Hooray!

Announcing the 2008 Games officially OPEN!!!!

So it was an amazing experience! I loved it, and I loved the spirit that was there in that room. It was so amazing. When I grow up, I want to be as amazing as those special spirits. Thank you, and goodnight.

Change

So I was on my way to work this morning when I had a sort of an epiphany. Kind of. I was thinking about how much I have changed. Then I thought about the blessing that I have received that told me that change was coming. I remember that at the time, I was freaking out. Sometimes- well most time, change scares me. But I was thinking about that this morning on my way to the Testing Center, I thought about how good change has been in my life! And how blessed I have been because of the changes that I have made, and the changes that have occurred. What a great feeling it was! To think about how terrified I was, and how blessed I have been is an amazing thing.

Then I thought about the future, and how much that will be changing too. And you know what, I'm excited for it. It will be great. It is all a part of our Father in Heaven's plan, and he is directing us for good. He wants us to be happy; that is part of the plan after all. Change is inevitable, yes, but think about all of the good things in life that have to do with change.

Change of clothes; change of mind; changing your oil; change in priorities; change of shoes; change of toothbrush; change in the stock markets (when the DOW goes back up); change of underwear; change of seasons; change of jobs; change of address; finding spare change on the street; change of scenery; changing majors; changing roommates (okay, so that can be bad too...) Basically our lives revolve around change. But I have learned that change is nothing to fear. And I think that if you were to look around, you may just find that more people feel that way than you may think. How many people get excited by the changing seasons. God made is so that our lives are constantly changing. After all, change is the only constant in our lives. Just think about that one next time change comes your way.

Please Bless

Sometimes I wonder. How far off am I from where I should be? Have I completely lost track of what is most important? Where the crap are my priorities these days? How in the world did I miss that? Do you ever have one of those days that are just slightly off?

Such is the day that I have had today. All day long I have been wondering what I am doing with my life. Well, what am I doing that is actually meaningful? Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? I mean really? What was the last unselfish thing I have done? It is a sad time when I can't recall that. I don't mean for this to sound depressing, or anything like despair. Today is an identity crisis day. Thank you Erickson, and your stupid psychological theoretical babble!! But alas, I'm sure it holds some ground.

At times like these, a girl could use a dog... okay, so that's from the show Lucky Stiff... It's fine. But really. At times like these, I just have to remind myself of what I truly know to be true. The Gospel. The Book of Mormon. The Temple. My Family- and the love that I have for them. The Prophet. Look! I already have some things to be happy about and grateful for!! So really this means that life is great!

Now dear readers. Don't be alarmed. I'm not going off the deep end anytime soon. I think all I need is a great big hug, and for someone I trust to tell me that it will all be okay. And on your identity crisis day I will be sure to do the same.

It's just really stressful right now. Mission? Major? Winter? Job? These are questions that rack my brain night and day, and until they are answered, fate and I are not on good terms!! Alright, so that is also from a play. It's fine also.

So the moral of this little blog is: Please bless that I can figure out my life. That would be slightly awesome indeed. But for now, I will take comfort in the words of a prophet. "Enjoy the journey...now." And guess what? Everything is going to be okay! Thank you and goodnight.

I Rest My Case

So, after that fateful day where I hated the entire male species, things kind of cooled down, and I got over it. I could look at my guy friends again, and not want to shout out insults. However, something happened about five minutes ago that made me remember why I do in fact hate men. I have this friend who I am pretty sure is kind of into me. That's all fine and good, and we were going to see how that went... Oh no. We will not see how that one plays out.

Here is what happened. (This all happened on that lame invention... facebook chat, mind you...) He told me that he had to ask me a question. I had some suspicions, but I was really not expecting this. He asked me what NCMO was. I was furious!!! What the St. Francis?!?!?!?!?!? Who the crap does he think I am??? We don't even have a real friendship let alone any kind of relationship!! (P.S. NCMO means Non-Committal-Make-Out) I told him that it was nothing that I believed in. He continued to pester me, so I told him to google it. That should be fun for him. I wished him good luck, and promptly signed out. WHAT A JERK!!!!! I am slightly disgusted. That's all. I just thought I would post this on the Internet, and possibly feel better. Alas, I hate men.

Oh, and to top it all off, this was going to be my one hope for a dating life. Well, that ended well. Awesome. Ladies, please take care. Be safe, and remember that anyone who wants to take advantage of you is never ever worth it!! Thank you and goodnight.

I Hate Men

Yes, I admit it proudly. I hate men with a passion today. There is not a single man on campus that I have the desire to have a nice little heart-to-heart with today. Oh, don't worry. This is not a chronic condition. Just today. Today is the day that Emmilie is a man-hater. Why you may ask? Perhaps it is because I am sick of the misogynistic behavior. I'm sick of the male-chauvinistic pigs of the world. Harsh? Yes. Indeed it is. But I am sick and tired of hearing how meaningless, and inferior I am simply do to the fact that I am a woman. Nothing in this known world will make me mad faster than a man who thinks he is better than me because "God blessed him as a man." That is the one sure-fire way to tick me off. Gentlemen, go ahead and try. I can assure you that the results will not be pleasing unto you. But go ahead. Please.

How did this bitter and cynical mood come about? It has been a long time coming. It has basically been building up these last few weeks; ever since the semester has started and I have been working at the Testing Center with some men who like to remind me how much better than me they are. But of course, it is their God given right to inform us poor, insufficient females how pathetic and miserable we are without those big, strong men. Good thing those males are around to remind me how much of an idiot I am. We have car sales men, mechanics, sales men, repairmen, plumbers, and my favorite, the sports fans all there to remind me how much I suck. Thank you men for putting us women back in our place.

So this lovely mood started a few days ago at work when a co-worker, who coincidentally is of the male sex, decided to ask how inferior I really was. Oh, and also how moronic I am. Wasn't that nice. Now, anyone that knows me will attest to the fact that I say some pretty dumb stuff sometime. However, for the most part, I would say that my intelligence level is up there. I'm pretty smart, and I can make things happen. Thank you very much. So naturally, I don't appreciate it when men make habits of every time they see me, they ask me how idiotic I really am. But you know, I secretly love it. However, I lead a life of mystery and secrets, so I would appreciate keeping that part of my life quiet. Thank you.

So this blog probably does not make too much sense, but I feel better. And I want to be completely selfish right now, and don't want to make it perfect for you men out there. Suck it up princesses. Eat it. I will make one exception. I do in fact still enjoy talking to my Step-Father, Will. He was the first one I called actually to vent all of my frustrations. So thank you and goodnight dear readers. Oh, and if you are a man, and are reading this, please bless that you do not ever question my intelligence again. Or something really bad is going to happen with your face and my fist, and I promise you that you won't like it.