Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I Hate Men

Yes, I admit it proudly. I hate men with a passion today. There is not a single man on campus that I have the desire to have a nice little heart-to-heart with today. Oh, don't worry. This is not a chronic condition. Just today. Today is the day that Emmilie is a man-hater. Why you may ask? Perhaps it is because I am sick of the misogynistic behavior. I'm sick of the male-chauvinistic pigs of the world. Harsh? Yes. Indeed it is. But I am sick and tired of hearing how meaningless, and inferior I am simply do to the fact that I am a woman. Nothing in this known world will make me mad faster than a man who thinks he is better than me because "God blessed him as a man." That is the one sure-fire way to tick me off. Gentlemen, go ahead and try. I can assure you that the results will not be pleasing unto you. But go ahead. Please.

How did this bitter and cynical mood come about? It has been a long time coming. It has basically been building up these last few weeks; ever since the semester has started and I have been working at the Testing Center with some men who like to remind me how much better than me they are. But of course, it is their God given right to inform us poor, insufficient females how pathetic and miserable we are without those big, strong men. Good thing those males are around to remind me how much of an idiot I am. We have car sales men, mechanics, sales men, repairmen, plumbers, and my favorite, the sports fans all there to remind me how much I suck. Thank you men for putting us women back in our place.

So this lovely mood started a few days ago at work when a co-worker, who coincidentally is of the male sex, decided to ask how inferior I really was. Oh, and also how moronic I am. Wasn't that nice. Now, anyone that knows me will attest to the fact that I say some pretty dumb stuff sometime. However, for the most part, I would say that my intelligence level is up there. I'm pretty smart, and I can make things happen. Thank you very much. So naturally, I don't appreciate it when men make habits of every time they see me, they ask me how idiotic I really am. But you know, I secretly love it. However, I lead a life of mystery and secrets, so I would appreciate keeping that part of my life quiet. Thank you.

So this blog probably does not make too much sense, but I feel better. And I want to be completely selfish right now, and don't want to make it perfect for you men out there. Suck it up princesses. Eat it. I will make one exception. I do in fact still enjoy talking to my Step-Father, Will. He was the first one I called actually to vent all of my frustrations. So thank you and goodnight dear readers. Oh, and if you are a man, and are reading this, please bless that you do not ever question my intelligence again. Or something really bad is going to happen with your face and my fist, and I promise you that you won't like it.

3 comments:

jennifer said...

let it all out emmilie.

Courtney said...

I loved this post! I totally agree!I have some guys at my work who think they are God's gift to the world. And I can not stand them. Ugh. Stupid men.

marneyd said...

You are absolutely hilarious. Besides that, you are soo right. Come see us again soon. We love you.