Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dillema of My Heart

Okay, so I'm sitting in my English 311 class right now, the thoughts of failure swirling around in my skull. Not the best way to start the day, but that's okay- I'm not mad. For the life of me, I don't know how I'm going to accomplish everything for this class that is required for an A. I would drop down to a B, but then I have a flash back that goes a little something like this:

I'm back in 6th grade in that wretched little place called Minnesota. Sitting, crying my eyes out, so sad that I was doing so poorly in all of my classes. I was trying to talk to the School Counselor, hoping that he would help a sister out. False. He told me, in my weepy condition, that I would never be an A student. I was more of a B or C student, and that's all I would ever be. Well, Johnny Raincloud, I would love to show you my 4.0 senior year, thank you very much. I'll punch you in the face, and then show you all of the A's on my report card. Jerk.

So this little bit of baggage from my past has caused me to be very hesitant to get a B. (Unless it's Science, then anything goes...) But this is English! I can write! This shouldn't be a problem. I suppose what I am saying is that I am full of pride. I can't get a B in this class... although I just might have to in order to save my sanity. It's the dilemma of my heart right now, and all I have to push me forward is that wretched School Counselor from that wretched town in Minnesota telling me I'll never be awesome. That just might be enough. Thank you, and goodnight.

2 comments:

Corey Lyn said...

You can make an A in this class... I have faith in you!!! :) One more thing to tack onto my prayer list. :)

Heidi Michelle said...

I'm sorry I was a bad influence on you and taught you the trick of blogging while in class! But really, ya gotta put up a picture while you're doing it or else I could be like "I don't think you're really blogging from class. It's all a front!" Maybe we should post one day in one of our classes. Yes, that would be appropriate I think!